“MOM FILES FEDERAL LAWSUIT AFTER SON DOESN’T MAKE HIGH SCHOOL SOCCER TEAM.”
That is an actual headline.
That is actually happening.
Facepalm. Eye-roll so hard. You get the gist.
Can we just stop with this nonsense?
Look I get it – we want to protect our children from hurt…we want to go all Mama Bear on someone if they hurt our child’s feelings.
But THIS? It’s setting that kid up for major disappointment and failure in the future because newsflash…mommy and daddy can’t fight your battles when you grow up. Stuff like this teaches our kids whining and constant complaining will let them get their way.
It’s a good 100% probability that the kid didn’t make the high school soccer team because he wasn’t good enough.
It happens.
We need to take the rose-colored glasses off and realize that our child may not be the next LeBron James, Alex Morgan, Tom Brady or Serena Williams. And guess what? That’s ok!
We, as parents, have to come to the realization that IT MAY BE OUR CHILD.
Our child may not be the smartest kid in the class…
Our child may not have handed in their homework…
Our child may not have studied for the test.
Maybe that’s why they’re not doing well in school.
Our child may goof off at practice…
Our child may not be working hard at their skills…
Our child may not be the best one on the field/court…
Maybe that’s why they’re not playing.
My oldest daughter was upset with some playing time recently – she wants more. I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I wanted her to have more playing time too. But it’s also pretty obvious that she needs to step up her game.
Sure, the Mama Bear in me gets irritated…I ask questions in my head…maybe I bounce things off my friends about it…
BUT…I am not emailing the coach.
I am not running across the field to yell at the coach.
I am not posting things on social media about it.
The only thing I am doing is having a very REAL conversation with my daughter:
“Are you paying attention at practice? Are you working hard on your skills when you’re at home? YOU have to put in the effort. If this is what you really want to do, YOU are the one who has to improve every single day…every week…every game. YOU control this. Nobody else is at fault. Period.”
Does it suck for her to hear something like that?
Sure.
But if I don’t teach her accountability and strong work ethic now, then I have failed her as a mom.
Not everything in our kids’ lives will be fair.
There will be kids who don’t show up to practice and still play.
There will be kids who blow off their homework and still get an ‘A.’
There will be a million and one examples like this but none of them have anything to do with our own child.
They control their own destiny…they are the ones who hold the pen to their own story.
Let your kid fall.
If we teach them right…they’ll get back up.
Failure is good.
It makes success THAT much better.
As a soccer coach, I say, “DO go talk to your coach.” Chances are Coach would love to get her more playing time and Coach would love to have the added depth that your improved player could provide. You said, “She needs to step up her game…” That’s a pretty broad brush. Is it her passing ability? Her receiving ability? Defensive posture? Tactical understanding? What part of her game is keeping her off the field? Ask.
It’s perfectly reasonable to ask a coach, “My daughter wants to improve and get more playing time…what does she need to work on?” It’s quite likely the coach has already explained this and it’s either not fully understood by the player or didn’t completely register. A lot of times that conversation is welcomed by a coach and can be quite revealing to a parent.
I would rather have a player or parent ask that question than sit back and grumble about the coach or just assume their player isn’t that good.
I encouraged her to talk to her coach…I’m not going to be that parent who fights those battles. I also have in depth conversations about my daughter’s skills with her…as a former athlete, I can spot what she’s doing right and what needs improvement