My son was looking for a safe place to hide in a store. 

That thought has consumed my mind for days now.

He and I were holding hands as we walked into a store the other day and I remember his grip was so tight and sweaty.  When we walked through the doors, he started to walk ridiculously fast and pulled me right along with him.

“Nico!”

“We need to get away from the doors so we’re safe!”

Instant heartbreak.

I pulled him aside near some clothing racks so we could talk about what he just said and how he was feeling. But before I could say anything else, he spoke up again.

“Here mom. This is where we could hide…right in between these clothes. I don’t think anyone could see us here. Would you cover me up?”

I felt like I was going to throw up…my eyes immediately filled up with tears…but my son is looking up at me waiting for me to answer.

“I will lay on top of you…I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe. That’s my job.”

This can’t be our world now, can it?

You can’t scroll through social media without reading an opinion from a “couch critic” on how to fix all of this.  I don’t talk politics but let’s be real: neither side of the aisle has come up with any solution to stop these mass shootings.  America was rocked on April 20, 1999 when two teens opened fire on their peers inside Columbine High School. We have had a change in leadership a few times since then…MANY more mass shootings…and what as changed?

I don’t want anymore arguments to be played out on cable news with both sides acting like toddlers throwing temper tantrums.  For just ONCE…get on the same damn team and FIX THIS.

I don’t have a solution.

I am not an expert and I refuse to be a couch critic.

But I am a mom…and the most important part is keeping them safe.  And right now they’re afraid to go anywhere.

THIS. IS. NOT. OKAY.

My son and I were pretty quiet when we got back in the car that day.  I wanted to say something to make him feel at ease…I wanted to tell him that it will never happen here.  But I didn’t.

I finally turned around and said, “Nico…I’m scared too.”